when she told me she wanted out because I was not doing enough with the children all around the house this was quite easy to fix but how do I fix a mindset where she feels that I have been emotionally abusive and perhaps I have been more so than I ever realised.
First of all, it is very hard for me to believe a woman would break up her family and end a M of this many years, based on the grounds her H did not do enough around the house. And, if she was so concerned about her children not having enough time with their father........what good will pulling the family apart be for them? It makes no sense. I still think it is something else that is her true motive.
Second of all, you are right, you cannot fix how she thinks. If you try to correct one thing, she'll find something else to add to her list of complaints. You were knocking yourself out doing all the housework while she did nothing (according to what you wrote) and you were spending every free moment with the kids. What did she do? Tell you it stillwas not enough, plus she found something else to throw onto her list. And now, she's decided to add emotional abuse.
This is why you need space from her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
