Ugggg.... Weekends are the toughest for me. How do I push my heart aside and let my WW go? She gets angrier by the week. Tells me that I'm staying in the house only to torture her. I've never cared for her or loved her. That I only stay with her because I'm comfortable.
Where has my W gone and who/what has possessed her? She's even decided that our pets our disposable so that she can get me out of our house. I sort of want to move out to get away from her but I've heard people on here say it's not a good idea and the L to whom I spoke confirmed. I'm very confused to the point of paralysis. I'm just so down because my WW thinks I have never loved her, I'm only after her because she provides me comfort. Although she has said that she would consider returning to our relationship in 5 to 10 years, that is no longer on the table because I won't leave the house.
I readily admit that our sex life was extremely poor because of me but there is no possibility of a 180 on that given her refusal to let me touch her. Interestingly, she got extremely upset when I did a 180 on this shortly after BD. To her, it showed her that I never cared. To her, the only reason I did something is because there was competition and I don't like to lose. I don't see my M as a game.
In short, my 2 biggest problems were a lack of sexual intimacy and I stopped talking to her last summer when I got depressed trying to find a job. How do you 180 that?
