IP, I wish I was just round the corner and I'd give you a huge hug :-). I know perfectly how you feel as I also found it hard to let go. Like I was scared to be alone, a single mum, early forties and thinking who would want someone like me.
Take a piece of paper and write down all the things you do like about your Alien H, not who he used to be but who he is right now. Step back, would you go out with someone like this? My guess would be no. I'm not saying to hate him but each time you feel low look at that list and you will see that for the time being you don't want that person.
