Day by Day..Hour by Hour 3

[- MB -]

I know. It scares me too! I really do know. This is his first time to cheat on ME, but I know that he cheated on his first W more than once. She had addiction issues and I really believed that was why he cheated on her. I know that everyone would say I should have expected it, but I really didn't. I would have NEVER thought he would have cheated on me. I am not emotionally or physically unavailable to him like his first W was. I am the complete opposite of that! But, now that he has, it does scare me too. I really think it's because of his MLC though. I just don't think he knows any other way to cope at this point. Or, that could just me be trying to make excuses and justify it for him. I think IF he ever gets out of his MLC...and we end up together....I don't think I would be able to put up with his cheating on me AGAIN. I'm not saying that you shouldn't because only you can decide what's best for you, I just don't think I could put myself out there again to have my heart ripped out again. I'm going to feel darn lucky just to have survived it once!

Just take some time to think about what it is that YOU want. Be brutally honest with yourself. Figure out if you actually want to be married to HIM, or if you're just afraid to let him go. Then, figure out what you are willing to put up with. Can he live up to that? This is one of the things that I have a hard time doing...being HONEST with myself about what I'm thinking, feeling, and wanting where H is concerned.