NYGal, sometimes I feel like giving up on the DB advice too. About once every couple of weeks I am ready to either just pick up the phone and call a L or alternatively pick up the phone and call H.
I am coming up on 1 year post BD and this is taking too long.
But then I think, whenever I do things my "old way" and react with emotion, it sets back me and H. We are not divorced yet, not even legally separated. I am not claiming we are reconciling either, still in limbo. But backing off and giving H space has calmed down the situation so much.
That said, I hope you do what works for you.
Also, I for one, am all for calling the ow any name you see fit, and if I had to see ow I wouldn't be able to not glare at her. This is the hardest thing, the most heart wrenching experience I have ever gone through.
Whether you agree with all the advice or not, please know that you are in a place here with people who care and truly want to see you succeed.
