Here again after 9 years and struggling 3

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I learned early on that friends and family have your best insterests at heart, BUT, you really can't listen to what they tell you because they are coming from a place where they just don't want to see you cry and hurt any more. Their advice always seems to be to cut your losses and move on. I get so tired of hearing this so I really try not to talk to any of them about it any more. They just don't understand!

As far as you H coming and going and acting as if nothing is wrong....LET HIM! At least this way you have interactions with him where you can work on things. He gets a chance to see if you're changing. My H and I have NC at all. None. Nadda. Zip. NOTHING!!! How will he ever know if I've changed or not? Your H is still being nice and still wants to be around you and the kids, and still wants to come to the house that feels like his home. I would be so thankful if I could have this kind of chance with my H. Don't waste it. You look your best, GAL, and show him how awesome you are. You can do this. Don't run him off, embrace the opportunity you've been given.