Hi NYGal, I doesn't save my M but I can tell you that if I had found this forum and read the books earlier, I could have.
The X was wavering and I did all the things I shouldn't do and made the OW's job so so easy. And all the things I shouldn't do were all the things the X had told me/ hinted that I shouldn't do. Which you should have guessed correctly, are the things the vets and DB/DR say we shouldnt do.
The WS choose the OP because of the euphoria from falling in love. They want to feel good and these OP let them feel good. If we start to get pushy/ clingy or sad, the OP look very good in comparison. We feel more fearful because we have more to lose. The OP not so much, so their shows of jealousies/ frailities may not be as extreme or intense as ours. They will still appear to be the more attractive option.
DB is not about being a doormat or getting on with your life without your W. It's about presenting a more attractive option by becoming a better you.
And it's not going to be NC forever. Someone said that it's more of dimmer thing than a switch thing. You go brighter or dimmer depending on your sitch.
Right now, your emotions are still too raw so you're option might be to go dimmer instead of brighter. When you've evolved into NYGal version 2, it may be the time to go brighter.
(((NYGal)))
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
