You are always full of kind words towards me Shotgun, that is what I appreciate about you, despite your situation you always have your hand on your heart. I don't know if I'm doing it better than you, I know I'm still faking it and it gradually is becoming a reality. Going dark/ NC with STBXH isn't bringing him closer, nor was being friendly with him. So now I know for sure that he wanted to leave me but because he did it with his previous partner, this time he couldn't be seen by others doing it again. I'm gradually reached the acceptance stage. Looking back for the last few years, I haven't been happy and I think that we grew apart. Such is life. I'm not ready to date again but I know one day that special someone will come my way.
I'm sorry you are feeling down because of your grandmother, please don't spiral down. From my point of view there was nothing better you could have done and I'm sure that she wanted you to be healthy and taking care of you while battling cancer. As you told me let God does his work on all of us.
