Day by Day..Hour by Hour 3

[- MB -]

Rain, I hate that you're feeling so hurt tonight. I have those nights too. I was feeling that way earlier today. Then, started playing a game with the kids and it took my mind off of it for a bit. I have NOT driven by there today. WooHoo...a full 24 hours!!!!!

I hate thinking about him having sex with that skanky b that he's cheating on me with. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE that he is being so intimate wth someone that's not me. I especially hate that he's pushing me away while drawing closer to her. But, AT LEAST you know that he's using condoms. I'm sure my H doesn't care enough to do that. He will get whatever that whore has and bring it to me if we ever get back together.

The point of honestly and truly detaching and GAL is so you can grow and become strong and independent enough to be happy on your own whether or not this relationship works out. BELIEVE ME, I know how hard and seemingly impossible this is. Anyone following my thread on here KNOWS that I have not been able to do this just yet. I think a lot of it is because I don't WANT to let go. I don't WANT to move on. I don't WANT any of this at all. I just want to go back to my marriage, and my husband, and my house and just live my life like it was supposed to be. I just can't make him want that too. And, you can't make your F want the same things that you want. I wish we could, but we can't. The best we can do is work toward actually detaching and moving on. Hopefully, they will wake up before we are too far along that we are actually not open to them any more. And, if they don't, at that point we won't care what they do, or want, or who they want to be with.

This is horrible, sad, completely unfair, etc.....but, it is the hand that they are forcing us to play. So, let's get on with it as best we can. And, when we fall, we can pick each other up. I am hurting and lost just like you are. I am not strong right now, but I know I can be, and you can too.