What was the nature of your M before he left? You said he left suddenly? No fighting or disagreements about anything beforehand?
Would it be possible to talk to your H and ASK him where he felt there was room for improvement in your M? You wouldn't want it to come across like you were pursuing H, so you could pose it as though you are simply trying to see where you need to grow and change to be better for your next relationship (even though you hope your next relationship will be the same guy!).
If you can't ask, or H isn't willing to talk, I think starting with the very basic needs for validation, acceptance, admiration, friendship, and fun are all great places to start. Some of these are going to be difficult, if not impossible to meet off the bat, but every interaction is an opportunity to lay the groundwork and take baby steps. The thing to remember is, when you have been in a R for a long time and have lived without having your emotional needs met, it can be a lot like what happens when your body goes without having it's physical needs met. If you don't eat for a little while, you get really hungry...you're starving! But after an extended period of time without food, you lose the sensation of being hungry. Your stomach shrinks. You stop feeling the desire for food. And when you try to start eating again, you have to stick to very small portions and build back up to full meals or else the food makes you sick. The same idea applies here. Partners who haven't had their needs met eventually lose the desire to have you meet their needs at all. So you have to start small...you can't just swoop back in and meet all your H's needs at once. But you can use every available opportunity to lay a new foundation and then build on that.
