Wife is in love with another man

[shreeve]

Thanks so much for that Zues. I am very concerned that I am not supposed to be in acceptance" at this point. I am getting help form these boards / counseling / support group to understand the phases of grief and figure out where I am in that process. I found out on Christmas day that she was ILYBNILWY and not happy (same script we saw from sandi2's LBS threads). It's been emotionally terrible for these 5 weeks. I have sensed improvements and have had 3 "good" days in a row. Found some great stuff on "self-mindedness" that one of my counselors recommended, kind of meditation get in the "now" type stuff. It has only been 5 weeks and I anticipate that the emotional pain will be there for at least 10months-1 year, and then will be triggered by memories for the rest of my life. I guess I am so eager to move to the acceptance phase because I need to sleep and be more productive at work.

What else can I do besides read about these things / continue counseling / support groups / GAL etc.? Her coldness and indifference to me have made things very clear, and I know a long and difficult journey lies ahead. I would like to continue to learn new coping strategies that will allow me to have the emotions, but sleep well and work well. So yes, I am a bit lost, but do feel I have been getting more clarity with all of the support I am receiving. I am eager for more advice / opinions.