Holy Moly! Look at what happens when off for a few days!
Merrick--I'm still trying to work out of a fit of laughter on the comparison to Sharon Stone!
Berto--Your emoticons made things worse!
You two are way too generous with your endorsements. It was a pleasure meeting both of you last week. Berto, I may be there once or twice in the next 6 months, so we'll head to lunch next time around. I'm so sorry that my plans were so tentative.
Meeting the two of you was a pleasure. While I'm sorry we all had to meet under unwelcome circumstances, I enjoyed both of you. Merrick, you may poke fun at your vertical issues, but a man's height does not equate to his stature. You and Berto share a whole lot more in common than not.
So thanks for rearranging your schedules to head to Starbucks.
The trip was busy, eventful and fun--despite the constant rain. We went to bed late and I'm more than exhausted today.
Our flight arrived early enough to head to dinner with Hud last night. I am blessed to have met 3 really wonderful guys this trip.
More updates to follow. It's time for our meeting and my desk is piled high today.
TTYL,
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Yes, these guys are absolutely wonderful for a girl's morale. And they're as handsome as they are nice.
The cherry blossoms were in full bloom and spectactular to see again, despite the rain. I love them, but I must say that I love Virginia in May--when the dogwoods are in bloom as well as the azaleas. That's a beautiful time of year.
Now for the update before I tackle my next pile.
I actually lost 3 lbs while on vacation! Who'd have thought? Life is good on that front.
On the Mr. Wonderful front, my Cainercast last week seems to have hit things on the nose. My fears have been confirmed, though right now it means little. It just gives me resolve to keep plugging down my own path.
Before I left Tuesday, he called me at work in his Bob Barker voice to tell me to have a good time. At the time, I was just having some minor anxiety about other things and he asked me why I seemed down? I told him the source of my anxiety--one of them being that I didn't fancy providing an update on my M every 10 minutes. He responded brilliantly with "OH" and then hung up.
I decided then and there that no matter what happened, I would enjoy myself. So the girls and I were at the gate and awaiting to board when my cell rang. Caller ID told me it was him, so I answered.
He told me that he had been thinking about my anxiety all day and apologized for it. Then he asked me if I came up with a patent answer for the questions as they arose? I said, "No, I'll figure out what I'm going to say when I'm asked." And left it at that.
He was actually concerned and attempting to show concern when he offered sincerely to field calls and questions about our path--he said, "Bets, if you want to tell them to call or send me an e-mail, I'll take care of things. After all, I'm the problem in this equation--not you. I don't want you to feel sad every time someone who loves you asks about you."
It was all I could do to keep myself from bursting into tears. I asked him what good it did if he told them what I already know, which was zilch? He sighed and said soberly, "Bets, I am no better off. I just really don't know what I'm going to do."
I decided that the convo was not going to help, so when he asked to talk to D10, I gladly handed over the phone to her. When she hit END CALL, she looked over at my face and put her head underneath mine (I was looking at the floor) and said, "What did he have to say to make you sad?"
I told her that he really doesn't know what he wants and let her know what his answer to our family questions was. She shook her head and said, "Wow, I'm sorry Mom. Sometimes Dad can be a real jerk." That's when I told her, "He doesn't mean to be a jerk, but he does seem to handle things poorly at times."
I smiled at her in earnest and said, "What do you say if we don't think about Dad right now and set off to have a really fun adventure?" She grinned back and said, "Yes."
He called pretty much every day we were there. I let all of them go to voicemail and he left messages for me and D10, telling us he was thinking about us and just calling to say hi. I let her return the calls.
So Friday, we were on our way in the van to pick up my brother when the phone rang. I could see that it was Mr. W. again and handed the phone over to her and said, "I think Dad is calling to say hi, so go ahead." She answered it in a chipper voice and had a few minutes of chat and commented aloud, "Hey everyone, Dad says hello."
Everyone told her to tell him hello back (they all miss His Highness) and she then looked up at me and said, "Mom, do you need to talk to dad?"
I said, "No."
She said, "Dad, Mom said she doesn't need to talk to you." I think he must have said something along the lines of wanting to talk to me, not needing to talk to me (she was repeating aloud) and then he decided that he didn't need to talk to me after all. She hit END CALL and then I saw 4 faces turn to me in the van. I shrugged and said I had nothing to say. They returned back to navel gazing and left me alone.
He left another VM for us when we were in flight, so on our way to the restaurant with Hud after we landed, I had her call him to tell him that I remembered we had switched schedules for today. Funny, I know I had told him I had written it in my daytimer, but he called to remind me. Then his VM also said, "Bets, please call me when you land to let me know you got this, okay?"
So this morning I was dragging a bit and he came upstairs and seemed genuinely happy to see me. He commented, "I noticed that you didn't have any coffee brewing. Would you like me to make a pot so you have some to go?"
I said "Yes, thanks" and off he went. A few minutes later, he brought me my coffee the way I drink it (but with half and half instead of my diet regulated milk--I consider that indulgence a little birthday treat) and apologized for making it too weak. Well, it was fine and I thanked him for bringing it to me. He just smiled and said, "You're welcome."
I'm not reading anything into anything. I got to work and my boss filled me in on the latest and said, "Bets, when you get a chance, please call Mr. W. and set up a time for all of us to go to dinner for your birthday."
I just looked at him and he said, "You heard me. I said all of us. I haven't celebrated any of your birthdays to date, and I'm going to do it in one fell swoop. All of us."
Okey dokey. When he's finished with his briefing crisis, I'll ask about his schedule. So far, I'm leaving him well enough alone. There is NO chit chat on my part.
Hud, if you read this before I can send you off an e-mail, my next trip will be to Nashville. Gotta plan these out of town getaways for the same reason as you plan yours! I'll tell you what D10 said that nearly had me wreck my car in my e-mail message to you...
That's it for fun in my part of the ocean. Detaching is the ONLY solution for me right now.
I had so much time to think while I was away last week. Most of the time, I feel resolved to coming back to getting back in the trenches to fight the good fight with Mr. W. This time I came back with some plans--and for the first time ever, my head and heart are completely aligned and in agreement.
To quote our friend Rafiki in The Lion King, "It is time."
It is time for me to end this chapter and start a new one. The story will continue to unfold. None of my thoughts and actions are rash or based in anger of any sort. I'm ready for that next step.
As my friend Hud said so eloquently last night, "It is time to embrace change."
So here goes!
TTYS
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Look forward to hearing from you when you return! 
