G - My heart is breaking for you. You fear being alone, you're terrified of losing your marriage...you're not seeing what is right in front of you.

Your M is gone, poof! It's over. The old one is finished. Please sit with this thought for a good long time. You are completely alone. You're living in a house with other people. That's all you're doing at the moment.

There is a possibility you can build a new M. That new one will never, ever be built from the position you are in now. You're coming across like a crazed, desperate man. That's probably exactly how you feel, but think about this: What woman in her right mind is going to want to be with a man like that?

You're getting great advice, and you are resisting it until the bitter end. You are making the situation WORSE. Your family is being torn to shreds, and the person most at fault is you. Of course, you don't mean to do it. It's happening anyways because you're desperately hanging on to something that isn't there.

Leave. Let your W figure out child-care. Get a hotel for a week or two, and have her drop the kids off to you. Stop making everything so very easy for her. You need to get out for your own peace of mind. I think some space would do wonders for you.

Rid yourself of the fear of D. It's already happened, on an emotional level for your W. Your M is dead in the water, G. You're not working on anything - there's nothing to work on. You're treading water in some of the foulest, tainted water to be found on this earth. You will never be a healthy man staying in that cesspool.

I'm speaking plainly, G - not because I don't care, but because I do. I've tried being gentle, and it didn't quite get through. Please, please listen. You need to get out and clear your head. What is the worst thing that can happen if you take a short break? Face it, make plans if the worst comes to past, and then pack a bag.

Your behavior, especially in front of the child, scares me. That is abusive...to the child! Get a hotel, face your fears, see your IC, and start making some decisions. Please accept your old M is gone. IT'S OVER.

Whether you can build a new one or not is completely up to you, and whether you listen to what you're being told. You, YOU, need some space and a quiet place to think. The worst thing that can happen is not that you wind up getting D. The worst thing will be if you lose your children forever. Keep antagonizing your W, and you are facing some harsh consequences. She can turn them against you, so they never want to see you again. You're not giving her much of a person to like.

I don't know what else to say, G. It's time. You need to separate.


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

"Surrender to What Is, Let Go of What Was, Have Faith in What Will Be." -S Ricotti