Flight's Thread #2

[Flight]

I hate that expression, "take the high road", but maybe that is what applies here. Maybe I have something to learn about why I feel there needs to be "justice" and people shouldn't be able to get away with destroying a family.

I could look at it, and pretty accurately too, that my best revenge would be to let him have her and then just watch the show for when he sees the real her. And visa versa, since he showed signs very early of having a temper, being a stalker, and being very needy, lack of character, etc.

I don't want to help her, but I do have to face that if she wants a separation, I should not hinder it. Strange thing is she still wants to abandon her plans if I would agree to us staying in the house and co-parenting. I have to stand up against that. I just can't do it. I can't be the spouse that looks the other way and waits. I can't show that as an example of a relationship to my D.

I keep working through what is in the best interest of my child and me, financially and emotionally. I can't keep her here and don't want to. I don't want to live with her disrespect. I guess I have been afraid of what seemed like finality if she actually makes a 30 year committment on her own house. That is a bit different than going to her mother's or living in an apartment or even moving in with him.

And the unspoken thing in all of this is, if there was no EA, would I have ever been content with her? The entitled world view that allowed her to have an affair, was always there. It was always all about her. I wanted another chance to be a better man and husband myself, and by taking that out of the equations, see what kind of relationship we would have had. But the real question is, should I even be thinking I want to save the marriage or should I be thankful this forced my hand to eliminate her from my life? It is easy to want what you are losing without asking if it is something that is even healthy for you to have in your life in the first place. For me to ever reconcile with her, she would have to really have had an epiphany and a change in her world view.