WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE Part II

[JGuy]

It's almost like I need to continue to DB until she's completely remorseful, ready to do some work. Right now, she's a puddle, posting on Facebook that she wants someone to love her unconditionally. Ugh.

When I suggested that you could try to hold a space in yourself to have compassion for her, that's unconditional love I was talking about. But that doesn't mean you drop your love for yourself, you have to sustain both. She may be in denial and cannot see how much you are loving her unconditionally, but if you can stick to that without expecting her to recognize you for it immediately, then by the time she comes out of the fog, she may look back and realize that you have been loving her unconditionally all along. I think Sandi is right that it won't make any difference right now, but that's not the point. Right now you are writing the book that she will pick up and read later, once she's out of the fog. What do you want her to see when she opens that book? I like what Vanilla said:

Try body language, and smiling, and neutrality, "of course"

Sympathetic head nods.

I'm definitely not an expert on this DBing yet, so take it with a grain of salt. But focusing on this "quiet compassion" approach has been helpful for me recently, as it has allowed me to stay more calm and confident in the face of WW spew.