please don't sell yourself short on this effort thing. You have been on this journey of pain and sacrifice for A LONG DAMNED TIME.
I have never gone more than a year without sex, since the first time. I've come close a couple of times. It is an amazing amount of fortitude to possess not to go nuts, or get so angry that you lose yourself in something else. The resilience you have shown is HEROIC, no matter who's criteria you are using, OK!!!!
And I realize, it is not just the sex, right...the lack of true intimacy. sharing, feeling, holding, giving and receiving between you and that woman you hold so true...give yourself some credit. You are a testament to your children on what a man can be. Now can you do that forever, should you...that is a conversation for another day
