Thank you Rednail. At this time we both need each other reason for her still living at home. I can not take my kids to school and take care of our 4yr old and still work. "My jobs takes me to different sites, although the majority of the time I work from home, I still need to be ready to go out at a moments notice to clients" I can't afford to either pay her to move out or me move out our income just doesn't allow it. Should I continue with her being friendly and ignore my feelings, how can I detach or not have expectations when there are mix emotions. Today I'm basically in our bedroom door close she is in the living room with our youngest and playing with her phone, "witch drives me nuts but have learned to ignore somewhat" I have told her my biggest regret was to ever buy her a smart phone, this is not the first time she found some emotional companion on Facebook. The first time I had a feeling that there was something wrong and basically trick her into letting me see her phone just to find out text message to some dude, that time I told her to get out she went to her mom's for a few hours, her mom called and ask me if she could comeback. I took her back even though she never really took full responsibility. I was told by her mom to take the dam phone from her but I didn't want to treat her like a child, fast forward to now and she tells me is not about the other person she talks too and has fallen in love with, that she doesn't live for him and if he is not around it doesn't matter to her. I don't even know if that person is even real or if she is just telling me ther is someone "he is not in the states, she tells me". In either case I don't really care about that person, I know why she feels she is I love with him or so she says. I know it's not my fault and that I have been faithful to her, what I do know is that I have hurt her with my comments when we have had fights (I did not know or comprehend how to deal with the fights) so I resort to hurting her. Like I told her and others this is somewhat of a blessing that has open my eyes and hopefully hers on not keeping things bottle up and pretend everything is fine when it's not. I know I'm not Saint that has done nothing wrong, people usually say stupid things when they are anger or corner. I have always work hard for our family to provide and be there for them, they are my life. She is my first love and first and only woman I ever been with, she has had and live with other man and knows a lot more about relationships that I do.
