Sci Dad, I think you have one of the more "hopeful" situations on this forum. She is in the house, in the bed, "trying" to break free from the A.
And then, more importantly than what she is doing, there is you- you are patient, you are smart, you are doing what you need to do. I think if you could stick to the DB strategy you have a chance. No spying. No looking at her panties. I would insist on paying down the debt. Hang in there, you've got this.
