REALLY trying to detach...but GALing regardless!#2

[- MB -]

I DO think the fact H said you intoxicate him is a good sign that he still feels something for you.

It was really weird when he said that. He wouldn't even look at me. It was like he thinks one look in my eyes it's going to trap hm forever or something. There was another time right after BD when he kept looking away from me and I asked him why he wouldn't look at me. He said "because I won't ever want to stop." I think that's why he pushes me so far away. He's afraid if he's around me he won't be able to stay away. Or, maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part. So confused. If I just knew what he actually thinks and feels, it would make MY life so much easier.

I also think you should ditch that IC if he is telling you there is no hope and find one who is more marriage friendly. It really disgusts me the throwaway attitude some people have towards marriage.

That's what's so strange. He is a Christian based marriage and family counselor. He tries to keep families together. He asked if I was ready to move on or keep working on things. I told him that I didn't know HOW to move on. Maybe he was trying to move me on. LOL. Kind of wondering if he sees me hurting and struggling for so long, then saw H that one time and could tell he wasn't ready to work on things so he is trying to save me from a loooooooong and painful wait for something that may never happen?? I don't know. None of our sessions have ever been anything like that before. I guess that's why it hit me so hard. It came out of nowhere and I never saw it coming and wasn't sure how to respond.