I don't have anything to report as far as interactions go... but I was up reading some fiction last night until about 2:30 am. Actually, I finished the book.
To the guys, you can skip reading the rest. I adore reading all types of books, but my real favorite ones are ones with happy endings... yes, romance books.
My life has so many not-so-happy endings that I find I like reading books that do.
This one was Susan Elizabeth Phillips' latest (Ain't She Sweet), which was fantastic. She's one of my favorite authors and now I have to wait a couple more years for another book from her.
When I finished it, I was sad. Sad for me. Not enough to call Mr. Wonderful at 2:30 am and tell him how much I miss him, but enough to really feel the loss.
Fortunately, today is another day. I still miss him, but won't address that with him later this afternoon. So I'm off to get cleaned up and head out for a manicure and pedicure.
Have a great weekend!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Quote: Asking for permission to buy a new pair of jeans makes me feel as though I'm a child and need daddy's permission. Asking permission from me to buy a new grill makes him feel like mommy controls him. Life is too short for us to do that to each other anymore.
Yes, this is SO very true. Betsey, I have to tell you I've learned so much from reading your thread. And thank you very much for the insightful posts you've made on mine! You've really helped me work through the stopping point I was at.
I thought your post about money was just on the money too! So many similar incidents to me.
Just months before the bomb, we were in a bar/cafe and I had a 'second' little sweetie - the ones you pay for by the sweet - and my H made that gesture in front of my face, of rubbing a banknote, questioning my 'spendthrift' ways. With hindsight, this was a huge red flag. That my impulsive, spendthrift, nothing-but-the-best-for-me type H would be questioning my purchase of a sweet - it was HIS money after all - was a huge no no.
But all this concern for my spending was actually to try to draw attention away from the fact that H had just lost a HUGE amount of money in a bad investment move, that he didn't ask me about, only told me after the fact.
At bombshell time it was all about how I didn't earn and how I was spending on stuff. Lots of outrageous claims, which when I called him on, he had no explanation for, just a shrug of shoulders, no apology.
The better I am able to earn money for myself, the less inclined I am to go back to anyone telling me I am spending THEIR money, even when I have devoted ten years of my life to servicing THEM and THEIR progency.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
LNL--I went to your thread to post to you, and you're locked out! Time for a new one. Merrick, you're locked out too!
Isn't this whole money issue interesting? Now that people are putting in their two cents worth, I'm seeing this as more of an issue than I had earlier thought.
It's not as much about the money but the proprietary nature of it's earning... and who gets to say how it will be spent.
Like your H being able to treat his laptop carelessly, therefore throwing out a few thousand dollars, but you being reprimanded for buying a sweet. I now can see this for what it is. A control issue.
Yikes!!!! I hate when this stuff keeps resurfacing.
Well, it's time to hop in the shower and head to church. I'm reading today...
Have a great Sunday and I'll try to check in a little later.
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Add me to those who think you're on the money with money. My H and I also had issues about money... though they weren't ones I was filled in about until after the bomb.
Your point about control is very interesting. My H saw my asking him to account for his spending in our computer accounting program as control... that I was trying to control everything H spent.
I am by upbringing more frugal than H, but I never cared if he spent $50 on rotten tomatoes, as long as the money was there to spend (which it was) and the checkbook balanced at month's end without hours of detective work.
And there is the issue of who is bringing in what income, too. Though I saw it as one pie, H was keenly aware of our individual income levels.
((((((((((Bets))))))) Thanks for the hug on my thread...sorry to hear about PMS, I hope it's over quickly for you! The money issue is an interesting one...especially since it turns out that, too, is a control issue! Is everything a control issue? Hmmm Hugs, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Hi Betsey! I spent a bit of time catching up on your thread last night (I was away at a conference for work). I must say, I love what I see! You are in such a good place, Betsey. I just know you're going to end up happy because you are doing things for the right reasons. That is so important.
I could have just cried over the stuff about loving him, but loving yourself more. Good for you! You should. Hell, we all love you here, so you must be something special! Glad you can see that clearly.
Anyway, I'm going to make a visit to Mer's thread, as I have some news. I thought and thought about where to post it (since she's abandoned her place lately), but I figure that technically I am still her guest. By the way, Mer, you haven't checked on me or fed me in a while!!! Anyway, Bets, head on over there. I want you to read what I have to say. XOXO
Boy, these feelings are always hard, aren't they? Yesterday, H and I were watching S concert. Oh, did I want to rub H back, tell him everything was okay. The emotion was so palpable... and left me incredibly sad. But, like you said, today is another day... (course, I'm still sad today... tomorrow is another day...)
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
What nice posts waiting for me this evening. I'm so glad to read all of your posts. Pam, I posted to you at your landlord's place...
HOn, I also posted at yours. I'm thinking that as usual, we're zeroed in on the same feelings again--aren't we? For me, I was at a point in my womanly cycle where I had nowhere to go but down. I don't feel that way every month, but when I do, I've learned to allow myself that time to do the quiet introspection and feel as I need to feel.
It was still present most of yesterday. So that when he returned the girls before dinner, I really didn't want to chat much with him. He, on the other hand, was upbeat. His first comment after entering the door was "How much weight have you lost? You look great!"
I just told him I didn't know because I was bloated and thanked him for his nice comments. That was all I could muster with any level of enthusiasm.
I'm feeling better about things today, but not because anything has changed. I just had a good day with the girls... first at church, then a quick trip to the mall to buy them Auntie Anne's pretzels and spending time doing some puzzles with D10. I feel pretty grounded today.
But I need to sign off, go get the suitcases out of the basement and get packing. I have to get organized first, and right now, things are a little messy. Plus I hear D7 upstairs alone--which undoubtedly means she's chasing the cat for some loving (which, in her mind, means holding the cat by the scruff of her neck and licking her).
Time for animal rescue!
Talk to you all tomorrow. Have a great evening.
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Hey there Betsey....getting ready for your trip east, huh? Will you be on-line during the trip or will we all need to wait and hear your wonderous remarks after you return??? BTW-is your trip business or pleasure?
Thanks for the post as usual. It feels nice to have such wonderful people give you those pats that we so often need during this time, especially since we don't get them from home that much.
It must be a lunar thing or something but do we all go through these ups and downs around the same times? Seems like when we're having bad feelings or highs, everyone on BB is in the same boat. I'm not down just peeved at WAS for how he has been acting lately. Since MC the other day it seems as though he has been avoiding me like the flu and today-ugh-I felt like he was "hating" being around me. But, this too shall pass........
Well, glad to see that things in your area are still status quo. I guess if their aren't any ripples for you that's better than having a wave surge, huh? (how do you like that water talking? trying to stay on your language, heh heh ) HAve a good night. Tootles.........
Merrick, you're locked out too!
) HAve a good night. Tootles.........