So just trying to process the DB coaching session... I told him about last night and my little GAL stuff. He said if he knew how to make himself happy, he'd do it. He sees me making myself happy.

He also said look at the positive of last night: that H admitted he drank too much & needed me & I should affirm that. I'm hesitant because whenever I've *affirmed* good things or shown gratitude, H reacts very negatively. Coach said that's part of his dance but it keeps him a bit off kilter *and* it creates that tension within him.
The only real 180 advise he gave was that I should applaud his humility (since that's something H complains about of me) in that he admitted he was stupid to drink so much.
Keep seeing the small signs and not having expectations (whew that's hard in the face of the spew).
It was good but kinda minimal...I need so much.
Seems like some of the things he says is more like pursuing though... so I'm confused. Can't remember everything - and I take notes!

Just got a text from H: I'm so tired of being an afterthought. Thinking about what the coach said, I txted:
Hope you're ok today. Do you want to talk?

No response. Whatevs.

Still not sure about how to "show compassion".

Me: 42, H: 38
Married: 12 years (second M for me)
14D, 9D
2015 EA (PA??), porn addict, *pastor/counselor* MLC

At a counselor, he said he wanted the marriage but not to work on himself w/a IC. Piecing?