Good morning, MB! I just read through your story from the other night. You really shouldn't be so hard on yourself. We all do things on this journey that, in retrospect, we really wish we hadn't. There is nothing to be done about it except to pick yourself back up, dust off, and make choices that make you happier next time.
I DO think the fact H said you intoxicate him is a good sign that he still feels something for you. I also think you should ditch that IC if he is telling you there is no hope and find one who is more marriage friendly. It really disgusts me the throwaway attitude some people have towards marriage. You are a family...not something to just be discarded and on to the next one because things aren't perfect.
