I thought your post about money was just on the money too! So many similar incidents to me.
Just months before the bomb, we were in a bar/cafe and I had a 'second' little sweetie - the ones you pay for by the sweet - and my H made that gesture in front of my face, of rubbing a banknote, questioning my 'spendthrift' ways. With hindsight, this was a huge red flag. That my impulsive, spendthrift, nothing-but-the-best-for-me type H would be questioning my purchase of a sweet - it was HIS money after all - was a huge no no.
But all this concern for my spending was actually to try to draw attention away from the fact that H had just lost a HUGE amount of money in a bad investment move, that he didn't ask me about, only told me after the fact.
At bombshell time it was all about how I didn't earn and how I was spending on stuff. Lots of outrageous claims, which when I called him on, he had no explanation for, just a shrug of shoulders, no apology.
The better I am able to earn money for myself, the less inclined I am to go back to anyone telling me I am spending THEIR money, even when I have devoted ten years of my life to servicing THEM and THEIR progency.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
