It's been a struggle the first few days. Lots of anger from wife. Lots of mistrust that she's really NC. She's upset that I spied on her, and says she needs some form of privacy to express herself, that I should just 'trust' her. She is having a tough time with transparency, and how we can trust each other. She's not ready to admit to herself just how much trust I've lost in her, and how much work she needs to do to built it back. I should just 'trust' her like before the affair. I keep telling her she's got work to do... I think she feels so depressed, and like the mountain to climb is too much for her. Giving up and going back to OM is the easy choice.
I think ANY effort to discuss things with her right now are met with lots of backlash. We got the hold order for the divorce. I was upset that wife told me it was 4-6 months, but the paperwork is just 90 days. That didn't go over well. Still haven't signed it.
Should I sign it as a way to show support? Should I wait for her to sign it?
Going on a trip with her sounds awesome, but with how fragile we are, I would imagine we'd have a R talk on the trip. And right now, they just don't go over well AT ALL.
It's almost like I need to continue to DB until she's completely remorseful, ready to do some work. Right now, she's a puddle, posting on Facebook that she wants someone to love her unconditionally. Ugh.
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
