New night(s)

[kyrie]

Thanks Vanilla - I started looking through that stuff (there's a lot!). Last night was a doozy. He went to Skype, smoke(cigars) & drink (whiskey) with an old friend from our old neighborhood - basically his only friend really, and a kindred spirit. So I putz around online, took care of some stuff, etc. He went outside to do a little fire and continue to smoke (this was around 10 after he was done w/Dave). I told him I was gonna read & go to bed & move his stuff off the bed. At 11:30 he comes in, turn the lights on (oh boy, here we go) and asks if I turned off my phone. I said no. He mumbled something and cursed and then left. I checked my phone - a text about "Don't leave me alone doing this". Whoa. So I got up, put on pants (hey, its cold) and went to the door - he's outside again by the fire pit. I opened the door and asked, hey, did you need something??
He said angrily, "not any more! I smoke and drank too fast (gee, not too much but too fast) and was puking all over. Go back to bed!"
So I did. To which he came in a few minutes later, lights on, and spews about how I wasn't there when he needed me, and he doesn't like to need me, blah blah blah. I said sorry I didn't hear the phone, but I did come out & ask if he needed something. He said no you didn't!!
Whoa. Then he pivoted to me making excuses and the usual nothing ever changes, blah blah blah.
And the spew continued this morning. I couldn't help it, I fired back that he was in control of his own choices - I didn't force him to drink all that or put himself in that situation. He said I still need compassion and you didn't do anything. I said there's nothing else that can be done for someone who rejects any help. More cursing, blah blah blah. So I got up early and left for work.
My DB coach session is in a little bit here. Bleh.