REALLY trying to detach...but GALing regardless!#2

[- MB -]

Hi Lucky! Yea, last night was not one of my better moments. I just can't seem to stop myself sometimes. I do fewer dumb moves like that now than I did to start with. I just start thinking and thinking and somehow convince myself it's a good idea even though I KNOW that it's not. Then, afterward I just sit and shake my head in disbelief.

H is seeing ow. So, the more I try to detach and let go, the more I get scared that I'm basically just handing him over to her without a fight. I know I can't control him or make him do anything, but I also can't influence him AT ALL if I'm not around. Of course, we are married so I shouldn't have to influence him to want to be with me.....

Either way, I'm back on NC for now. I sure hope he comes out of this sooner rather than later. He's wearing me out!