Lonely Hearts Club V

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I'm really sorry about your Grandmother's passing. I know that had to be a very difficult decision to not go see her, but I'm sure that's how she would have wanted it. She would not have wanted to ever think that she was the reason you got sick while your immunity was down. And, because you didn't see her like that, you can remember her when she was happy and healthy. Don't beat yourself up over that decision because I have no dout that she understood.

I do feel really damaged after having been married to the two men that I have been married to. I intend to work through it and be a better person in the end. I can't believe that I have let 2 men dictate my self worth. The thing is, I would have NEVER gone back to my first H, but I still want to be with my second one. I guess out of the two, he probably hasn't hurt me nearly as much. He actually used to build up my self esteem....until we married. He just changed. I think it's because he had to leave everything to move closer to me so we could be together. I honestly think that's when his resentment for me started. It's sad because we were perfect together before that. Then, trying to blend 2 families together. UGH! It is NOT like the Brady Bunch, I can tell you that for sure.