This is the definition of an affair. When the D is final it will no longer be an affair, but it will still be a relationship which was inappropriate and played a pivotal role in the destruction of your marriage.
I stand by my last post. Friends don't do this. Love her from a distance and let her go on her journey.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15