In other crushing news, as I pay all the bills, H had a recurring charge on one of his credit cards, that I had seen 3 months ago, but didn't really pay attention. Til today when I saw it again. Its an on line dating site. I have no freaking idea how, or if, I should address that.
This [censored] but yes, you have to address that. You came upon this information in a completely "legitimate" way. You pay the bills and wondered what this was. It is absolutely unacceptable for a married person to engage in an online dating site. Marriage is a social contract that must be respected by both parties. Trolling online dating sites is a violation of that contract, extremely hurtful, extremely disrespectful, and can't be tolerated unless that kind of behavior is agreed on by both partners and done in the open.
Remember me telling you to tell him that you're committed to saving this and making it the best marriage it can be? Well, part of that is that he's committed to it 100% too. Using online dating sites for any reason, even just window shopping, is not part of being 100% committed to your marriage. All I can tell you is what the new and improved TxHubby would do. I'd say I found this, I absolutely don't approve. I can't control you but I will not be in a marriage where my partner is trolling online dating sites. That is too disrespectful to me and I don't deserve to be treated like that. We have to be in this together or I'll be the one filing for divorce.
Let me say again, that is what the new and improved TxHubby would say and in my case that works like a charm. The old TxHubby would have fretted over it, lost sleep, not wanted to confront her for fear she'd blow up and want to leave me again. You get the picture. You can't be a doormat because nobody respects a doormat.
