It's not an easy process. Part of me wants to call her and try and talk about R. Then I realize. It's not a good idea. If she wanted to she would talk to me. I know when I started this process of dbing it was to save my M. That's most of the reason we all end up here. And through all the advice and the time you spend DBing your thought process changes . Although I have been GAL and finding new things to do for myself. The reason behind it all was so W would someday see it. Today my thought process started to shift. For me it's still not all the way there But it's a realization that it is for me. The thought may shift back and forth between for her or for me. No matter what I try and tell myself a lot of this so far has been M and W focused. And tho I have told myself all along its for me deep down I didn't really see it that way. I guess that is part of the fake it till you make it. Sitting here processing all I have been doing I thought yes it was for her to notice, but I enjoyed doing it. It made me happy. It was for me after all and it is feeling like that now. This feeling may also change like the feelings and sadness I have some days. That's all part of the process tho. You come here to save your M and while your here you start to learn being in a R is a bonus to living your life the way YOU want to live it.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
