Thank you job, Bright, Sotto and bttrfly for your advice and support.

job - yep sugar, giving that up will be a hard one. As for the reconnection stage - I do know that the slower it goes the more chance we have, but I can see why so many give up at this point, the forwards backwards standstill dance is very frustrating !!

Bright - I was very tempted to go on the girls trip, however it would have meant spending all I have saved leaving nothing for emergencies. As I spent most of my married life living in debt I vowed not to go down that route ever again - apart from a mortgage which I dont count as debt. I don't have a credit card or overdraft for that reason, so my trip would be purely funded on my savings; when its gone its gone. Its a holiday for all of us and the majority are cash rich and want to do the extavagant long lunches at wineries, a mini cruise and various other activities, it would not have been fair on them to ask them to dial it back for me or fair on me to feel pressure into keeping up with them, so the best thing to do is for me to not go. I feel sad I cant go, but it is my reality right now, more so with my latest health issue; if I have to take time off then I will need savings to cover it.

Thank you for the ibuprofen information, I am trying to only take it when I really need it - generally I pop a couple before my 2hr face up (making my dept look pretty for the following day) at the end of the night because that's really fiddly and by then my hands have really had it and are in a lot of pain. I see the dr again mid feb so will talk to him about pain relief as I am now waking in the night with painful, hot hands - they feel swollen and tight, yet are not visibly so.

Sotto - thank you, you always say such lovely things to me and give advice and a kick up the butt when needed. I text h, just a "hi hows your day" chit chat, he responded the same and prob gave him a memory jog that I still exist.

bttrfly - thank you for your kind words and thoughtful information. At this point I will look at anything to help with the symptoms and slow things down.

As for job change - easier said than done. Yes I have looked at becoming a buyer but my knowledge is not great enough yet. My problem is that I don't have a great cv, I have only been working 9 months ! And yes, I know I have had a promotion within that time, but its all manual labour and that is where I am placed at the moment. To get into something less active and strenuous on my body I will have to train in something, and this is where I am stuck, I have no idea what I can or want to do, nothing appeals to me. I am very much Blur at the moment. My friends keep telling me counselling, but I feel I am far to opinionated and impatient for that. I am very much a doer' I like to be doing something active, I get bored very easily so variety is good for me.

School begins again in a couple of weeks after the summer break, so if I am going to train in something I need to make a decision very soon. I can't think right now, my head is mush lol.

Thanks to everyone for your kind thoughts and support.