Betsey, I do understand everything you said. Please keep in mind that last year when you both were in MC, you both were different people. You, by your own admission, have made real significant changes. But remember, Mr. W has made changes too. He has been on his own , just as you have.
I think and know, that you will go slowly before you make any radical decision concerning your M. You have the patience to give him some time to show progress. You have the wisdom to give him space while he puts actions into making progress towards a new M.
He's at least willing to get into the shark tank again! Let's not expect him to make a swan dive in. Let him get used to the water first.
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
