Where I am...

[mahhhty]

Haven't been here in a little bit. After my last little bit I needed some downtime to figure things out.

Quick recap:

Monday - Brought D to school, worked, ran some errands then crashed I was beat from the weekend with our cousins, the road trip and taking the kids to ski for their first time. I did a lot of research too. I'll talk about at the end.

Tuesday - Went up to the town my business is in, worked from the neighboring business which is a coffee shop (they love me there, I meet so many new people just sitting there). Then had a parent teacher conference with X that night. She brought the kids, so I got to see them. Conference went well, the kids are flourishing. However, I asked if the two teachers thought there was any impact from the divorce. I could see X squirming in her seat because I asked. It is a pertinent question and I asked it. I feel better for doing so. After the conference, I meet up with some people and we kayaked at night (the river was lit due to street lights). Then hit a bar for dinner and beer.

Wednesday - Went back up to the business. Had a couple of meetings, then picked up the munchkins and hung out.

Today - After I brought S to school and D to daycare, I met her for another meeting with the school about S (he had a screening done and is good). It seemed as if she wanted to talk today. But I left quick. I was looking good. Pleasant and kept things light.

Tomorrow I'm getting with some friends and kayaking. Then Saturday doing a bunch of demo at the shop with about 10 people. And paddling again Sunday.

Research....
I think I'm on the cusp of accepting it. She's done a bunch of things that I don't agree with. The most hurtful. OM. OM meeting kids. OM sleeping over with kids. I either accept it or don't. And I think I'm close. I did a bunch of research on letting go, detaching, limiting beliefs, etc. I felt it was helpful, and I feel like I may have dampened the roller coaster a little. I also did some research on effectively communicating with a passive aggressive person. That was enlightening. It talked a lot about assertive communication (which I haven't been doing very well at).

I believe her and the D. Bag are taking the kids to a ski mountain this weekend. It will be important for me to keep my head on straight and have some fun, so I don't get mixed up in stupidness. Just this AM, my D talked about us being a family, the four of us. She is 5 and it is 1 year later, but I think it may be a function of X pushing the other guy on D and S. I wish she wouldn't push this guy on the kids while she is sick. But I can't control it and like many said I will come out the bad guy, even more than I already am.

I'm also really sick of hearing about how resilient kids are (the teachers brought it up). In the DB world, I think that is an excuse for those instances were people make poor decisions and don't do their best for their kids.

Anyway... game over. Time to pick up the munchkins.