Good job Rain. I think it was important that he heard one thing: You recognize that he would need to feel safe from the past and from criticism and suspicion, that he would need more from you in terms of forgiveness and in terms of what you bring to the M, and that you're willing to do that- IF he recommits and agrees to cut contact with OW including cam girls. I think mentioning that isn't critical, it's explaining to him that you won't live with that in your life, important because you are stating you can't move on from something he persists in doing.
But now you move forward. Don't hold your breath. This letter is important in two ways. One, it may lead him back to you one day, but more importantly, Two, it should lead you forward without looking back starting NOW.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Thanks Zues. Though it doesn't seem like if he heard that part. But I did say it. Maybe because it was a voice message and not a letter. 3 to 6 months. Sigh. Heavy sigh.
You have done what you can. You outlined what you need and gave him a path home. It's up to him to actually walk it though.
3-6 months sounds like a long time right now, but if you get your R back on track and spend the rest of your lives together, that time will seem like nothing.
I cannot believe he spent the money you gave him on cam girls again!!
When are you headed out of town to see XF's mother?
I am about to lose it. He is painting QUITE the picture. I am just out for money (that he does not have). All I do is complain about money. (before this cam girl addiction I did not say a word about money)
There is something wrong with him. I love him but I do not like him right now.
Oh no... I'm so sorry Rain. Maybe these cam girls are an addiction and he is just acting crazy because he is out of money and not sure how he is going to get his next fix?
You cannot listen to anything he says. They will say anything to make it seem as though the situation is your fault rather than accept any blame themselves.
Rain, if you give him any more money back, I'm going to come and whisk you away from there in that monster truck I rented. He will have to do some difficult work to get over this addiction. It's sad, really. But him blaming you is outrageous. I hope you don't take any of that to heart. You're the sane adult here. And remember, don't engage in these negative texts, OK? It can't help. Let him cool down. Wishing you well.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Anna...he believes he is not addicted so theres that. And aint that the truth. How he can mentally justify saying what he has said to me today while conveniently disregarding the massive amounts of money he has hemmoraghed this month is amazing. Crazy is as crazy does.
Rain, if you give him any more money back, I'm going to come and whisk you away from there in that monster truck I rented. He will have to do some difficult work to get over this addiction. It's sad, really. But him blaming you is outrageous. I hope you don't take any of that to heart. You're the sane adult here. And remember, don't engage in these negative texts, OK? It can't help. Let him cool down. Wishing you well.
NYGal...see now, that makes me WANT to give him more money! Oh to be whisked away and party hardy with my awesome peeps, and in a monster truck of all things. Thats maxing the GAL coolness factor out.
I got upset. Like super duper if he was in my face I may have karate chopped him in the throat upset. But F that. He is acting like a crazy man and I am anti-crazy at the moment so too bad for him.
Somewhere deep down. Deep, deep deeeeeep down he knows all of that is a lie. I held our family of 5 together on his income. We paid off some debt, we traveled, all bills were paid and up to date, we ate out once in a while and more. I did that.
