Wife wants to leave but still at home.

[sandi2]

This was ok for about 3 months then the contact slowly increased over the next 3 months to the point they were talking several times a week. when I questioned this the response I got was that it wasn't important and I was being petty

It can be mind blowing how a WW can twist and justify an A. I bet if it had been you with some OW, she would not have it being petty.

A few days after that she had her christmas party, she called the kids before bed but as she talked to me I knew she was lying to me about something. Needless to say, I followed my gut and found her at her colleagues place. Her first words to me were that the affair was going to start tonight. She then said our marriage was over and had been for awhile. I suggested she come home and work on this but she stayed there for the night. The next morning she arrived back at the house as I was taking the kids to school and daycare. She stayed and we talked a bit when I got back. She said it as a mistake to stay with him but she no longer loved me and wanted out of this roller coaster we were on. Again I made the usual mistakes of telling her to think about the kids, that we were just at a stage of things turing around for us etc.

So, she spent the night with the OM, and went home the next morning as if nothing had happened? Maybe it's b/c I am just getting your side of the story, but it sounds as if you were the one that was pleading for her to stay, even though she had just committed adultery. Did she ask if she could say, or use her threat of leaving as her leverage? Has she ever done anything like this before now? Did she have a lot of sexual partners before getting M?

The week before Christmas, we talked after the kids were in bed about presents for the kids. We hadn't fought and had spent time together with the kids. She was supposed to come back to the house on the Wednesday for breakfast but didn't show, I had to call our friends and remind her that she told the kids she would have been there for breakfast. When she finally turned up, I asked her why she let them down (I knew she had gone out the night before) she said she had been to have a beer with the OM. Then proceeded to shout at me that I had no control over what she does or who she sees, I calmly said it does when it affects the kids. Sorry, rambling now.

No problem rambling, but wow, have you ever seen her have similar behavior?

Sandi, I have read your story several times and I guess you were one of the people I looked forward to hearing from the most. I have read most of the links already before posting. I guess I look to you for that side of the fence. I know that every individual is different but your position and experience is closer than my own.

Oh my, I don't what to say.....except I will try my best to give you the viewpoint of most WW's.

I will add some other information, currently her father health has been declining and my W had a cancer scare but was clean. I have felt that some of this could be a MLC also.

Did this begin before things between her and OM began getting thicker?

What are the ages of you and your W?

Stay with us and we will try our best to help.