I'm settling in for the long haul I guess. Interesting convo with X-Boss today. She's a top administrator here. She mentioned a job opportunity over in OW's department. I said (without thinking) oh, I can't work over there. She said, right, because of the relationships. I'm sure my deer in the headlights look said it all. I asked what she meant? Oh, all I know is that W and OW are such good friends. I was stunned. Then I mumbled something about, "yes, the relationships. That's all you know." I was stunned.
Now I wonder what the top brass around here actually do know about the whole sordid A. I hope not much. My thinking is that if it comes out, W will have to make it seem that this is the love of her life to justify it all. Ugghhh.
No W sightings yet today.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Try not to draw too much up in your head about what people know and don't know. They probably know less than you think, more than you want them to, and the rest they will make up anyhow. I have the same problem sitting in my head all the time, even long before my separation sitch started. I am trying to use something I saw on Brenee Brown's Ted talk. Something along the lines of - if it can't be measured it isn't real. Until I know it, I can't assume it.
Me:34 W:33 R: 15 years M: 7 years W moved out: 11/21/15 BD: 11/20/15 - ILYBINILWY, PA once LRT: 12/14/15
Just trying to get through this week. And the next. And so on.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Try to enjoy each day, there's more to you then a relationship with another person. Of course it affects you but try to enjoy some of the moments of each day. A good song, a tasty sandwich, a funny situation (watching humans can be hilarious), anything a long those lines. Find joy and beauty, it's out there. Be well
Have you been able to think much about GAL lately? It might help to have something positive to think about. What makes you happy? Anything that you always look forward to no matter what? Might even be something you stopped doing because it bothered your W.
I can't tell you how much it helped once I identified things I could do for myself that made me happy, regardless of what my wife was doing.
Me-38 W-38; T-15 M-12; S10 and S6 BD - July 2016; EA confirmed; confronted Aug 2015 EA dissolved 12/2016
Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option - Maya Angelou
It's a nice, sunny day here in ---- and I'm enjoying that! I had lunch with a student I sort of mentor, and that was fun. I'm doing a pretty good job of GAL in that I often have plans most nights -- if only because I hate to be alone.
The basketball game saga continues. I have been going to women's basketball since 1994, long before I met W. She always goes too. We always went together. Now she still goes and I don't want to give up an event I've always enjoyed. The dilemma is that I don't want to go alone without support. I could sit with our mutual friends, but W sits there, so ... I found a cute girl to come with me to the game Friday night! It may sound shallow, I know... but she's statuesque model beautiful, and it can't hurt to walk in with her, right? She's a work colleague and recently broke up with her boyfriend, so we're both in the lonely hearts club.
No W sightings today. But the day is young. Dinner with a friend tonight who, I'm sure, is so curious about why I haven't been sitting with W at the games... I seriously do NOT like this kind of drama. I want my old, simple life back. But I'm learning you don't always get what you want.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
NYGal...sounds like you are doing awesome with GAL! I think it's great that you're going to the game with a friend. Go and have a fabulous time and let W eat her heart out (since we already know she is affair-ing down.
