Rednail - Im sorry that you are here and for the situation you find yourself in.
Originally Posted By: Rednail
I THINK its sorta working. He asked to come home one night and slept in our bed, snuggling and holding my hand.( all him, I was asleep when he got here. Confused me on why he wanted to come but I didnt ask or bring it up the next day.) He asked if it was okay to go see a friend and play cards even though he said he would spend the day at home with the kids (first time ever asking since our separation), I told him I didn't care and its up to him. He noticed my hair was dyed (because he smelled it when he hugged me, he said he could smell the hair dye in it mixed with shampoo.) He was going with a good friend of ours somewhere and they drove 30 mins out of the way to see if I was home, then called my phone non stop and resorting to calling my mom to get a hold of me, he usually will call once or just send a text but now he will call me every 5-6 minutes until I answer or until he needs to go into work or something. He mentioned my lipstick yesterday and asked why I'm wearing lipstick and who im kissing ( literally worn it everyday for almost 2 months now.) He also asked why I'm so happy. When he left he took 90% of his clothes and I noticed that about 1/2 is back (for now??)
Zues gave you some great advice. It's working if YOU feel better. Dont judge your success on how HE behaves.
That said, why are you sleeping in the same bed and snuggling and such? It seems like you are allowing him the beenfits of being married after he said he didnt want to be married anymore.
Originally Posted By: rednail
My goals are giving him space, 180 some more things, try not to get excited over little things, get a job..hit my goal weight ive been trying to hit for 3.5 yrs..-20 lbs to go!
These are good in concept. But I think you need to be more measurable. How will you know if you are 'giving him space'? What discrete actions are you going o do or not do? Try to make your goals as specific and measurable as possible. That way you can look back and really judge whether you accomplished them.
