Mleigh - it is clear from your post how much you have built your own life and how comfortable you are with that. You have done a really good job of moving forward! Kudos to you!!
One of the things that stuck out to me is that you mentioned that maybe some of this coincides with cutting the cord to your mother. Just keep one eye on that to be sure you aren't lumping them together.
Yes, I think it becomes easier and easier to see that distance between us and our spouses growing. I live with my MLCer and I talk more with the baristas at coffee shops than with my own h. Usually this entails the barista asking me how my coffee is and BAM, we've had a deeper conversation than I have had with my own h.
Of course it seems easier to move on as we've already pretty much done it. And because we're tethered to a person who, right now, has no interest in working on the marriage, that too makes it harder to see how the gap is going to close. It takes two to make a marriage and in all of our marriages, one spouse is in a walking coma.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
