Hang in there. Sounds like you are getting to a better place for you and your family.
I don't have the EA/PA thing (I don't think), though a lot of what you are dealing with sounds very familiar. Its hard. I guess that's why the DR book recommends looking for the small changes from others as encouragement. That includes seeing that you are building a better relationship with your kids, which is super important. You can't change your W, but you can be a better person for yourself and your kids.
Exercising is a great stress reliever - its part of my salvation as well. You can also take a little joy in knowing that by getting in better shape you're giving her more to miss ;-) Though most importantly you're back to taking care of yourself, so you are able to act on your core values of helping the ones you love.
