So had 2nd MC session together, and I guess no surprise, no big changes. We talked some about things from 20+ years ago, some getting my side of the story our while trying hard not to be defensive - felt very awkward. Tired hard to hear what she was feeling them, and validating her feelings... So blurry to discuss things 15-20 years ago as its hard to know what either of us was thinking or feeling or why we did such and such. I guess trying to be positive, it provides an opportunity for the new me to express how I know see I should have handled various situations differently; been less dismissive of some of her concerns and fears.
Again trying to be positive, W did not say anything about wanting separation or such this session, though she did re-statement that it must be hard for me to hear that she's done... If her wanting to leave or for me to move out was a priority, I'd expect more action from her, so I'll have to interpret that as she's starting to have doubts... Its just I don't know where that leave things or what to do next...
Feeling a little blue today. Resentment about "why do I have to keep being positive and strong and such" all the time creeping in. I know why - I love my family and I'm making these changes / improvements so I'm in a better place to be there for the people I love, and that's important. The rest is just noise that I can't let get under my skin...
Just feeling a little sorry for myself today, so giving my W a little extra distance till I can re-group...
