Hi Jguy , glad you are finally accepting what your W has wanted since day 1. She's always said she was afraid to lose the financial side of the M and in fairness she did not waiver from that
I have followed your thread and again , I'm going to be honest , so take it anyway you want but it's meant with good intentions
Since your very first post you have ignored all advice unless you " felt it "' or understood it completely and agreed that it was right for you Most advice on here is against what you ( anyone ) would feel is right so you can choose to follow it or not
You have seen two ICs and a shaman who's advice you jump on because you agree that you are too giving with yourself yet a few posts ago you tell how you have very little empathy for yourself or anyone else. Do you see how you are taking things piecemeal to fit your own ideas
Your W thinks you are wonderful , this you accept without question and have repeated this in many posts but when your W told you weeks ago she wanted to seperate you would not accept that is what she meant. I gave advice and you took it very badly , Vanillia in the next post , gave broadly the same advice but because of how you perceived it , you accepted Vanillias and thought mine was not for you. Vanillia pointed out that both advices were very similar but you could not see that
All the above is me trying to get you to see yourself through others eyes I have no doubt you are a decent , loving man who has loads of goods traits and are a decent dad BUT no one has all the answers all the time and no one can navigate through a crisis like this without advice
Your W is a typical Wayward / WAW who wants it all and expects by feeding you scraps that she can cake eat her way through life. She has lied to your face and yet when she does admit the truth , you call her courageous !!!! Telling the truth is not courageous , it's normal. Please see this woman for what she is and not what you expect her to be. She's a sieral cheater who has told you things you wanted to hear for a few months now while never changing her real feelings
Jguy , this post is the same as my others , you need to do what's right for you and stop letting W control you with lies and emotions
I know you have been drawn into a cult before and from your posts it's sort of understandable because you leap onto anything that vaguely gives your views value. I'm not saying all your views lack value more that when we face adversity I believe most people can easily choose the path of least resistance
Again , this post is to attempt to get you see reality and maybe accept some responsibility for your own actions in the breakdown of the M.
From an outsiders viewpoint nothing has changed in your W or you and how will things improve if neither of you change W is clearly unhappy with the M and is looking elseware for love , etc and JGuy believes if only W would change everything would be ok and Jguys basically a great guy and why can't W see this
Just before I finish , I will explain that I have owned my own business since I was 23 , I'm a great guy ( my Ws words ) and I treated my W like a queen and she never asked for a thing , she left me and my 4 kids to live a seemingly very poor existence and has threatened suicide and is now on anti depressants She still can't understand her choices and has gone from a fit , attractive looking woman to a under fed , sickly looking woman. .Can I explain this , no , at the start I tried to explain to her how this would play out and funny enough she didn't listen. I came on here and I listened to the advice and went to an I/C who challenged me and told me many home truths that I certainly did not care to hear BUT I listened because for the first time in my adult life , I did not have the answers , I could not fix this with my intellect or natural ability to get everything in my life that I ever wanted.
It's 14 months now but I'm still learning and I have no doubt I will always be learning A better Dad a better business man and most defiantly a better Partner should I ever find someone
Please accept that I , like everybody on this site , wants you to be happy and for your family to be complete For this to happen there is work you need to do on you and leave W to her own choices. This is the same advice you've got from day one
