My strength was severely depleted by the cancer treatment and I joined the yoga class to try to rebuild. So far so good but it is about as intense as I can do. I'm sorry that you saw the OW at your loser husbands house but if you don't look you might not have to see that again. You know the man in that house is a clown so why don't you start thinking about a man in another house?
Shotgun, I'm glad that you're getting your strength back. What kind of cancer did you have? You might have said, but I don't recall you mentioning it. As for the Zumba, maybe it would be like when I tried to line dance. You can just walk round and bump into the hot sweaty girls and eventually one of them will take you by the hand, pull you close, and teach you SLOWLY how to do the dance. LOL...could be FUN!
And, I am starting to agree with what you say about H, but I just can't (or won't) seem to let go yet. Heck, I can't even stop driving by yet!! UGH!! I will say that I do it LESS than I used to. That counts right? And, as far as another guy, I honestly can't even imagine that. I really can't. That's why I'm going to start working with IC on ME. I really don't think if I let go of H, that I will ever be able to find anyone else. I have basically been told that in one way or another for most of my life by the important people in my life including my current H and my ex. I KNOW in my mind that it's not true, but yet I can't get past it. It seems to have stuck with me and I'm scared. I'm scared to be by myself. I'm scared to be alone for the rest of my life. I'm scared of no one ever loving me again. Pretty much I'm just scared so I'm frozen in place. Then, to top off my fears that I already had, when we "got back together" for those 12 days I really was trying my hardest to show him that he would be a fool to let me go, and yet he did. I just keep asking myself if I wasn't good enough for him when I was trying my hardest, then why in the world would anyone else ever want me. I know that it doesn't make sense for everyone that is reading this. But, that is how I actually feel. I can't just get over it. I can't wish it away. I can't ignore it. I've tried. I feel worthless. Both of my husbands made me feel that way as well as my parents. Without my H, I will always have my kids, but that is all I will ever have.
Sorry, I know that's not the response you were expecting. Guess it's just what's on my mind after my IC session today. Wish I could just go to SLEEP, but I'm thinking my new AD is keeping me me awake. I slept 2 1/2 hrs last night. 1hr 45min the night before that and 4 hours on Sunday. I am beyond tired but can't seem to sleep. Hopefully everyone is having a good night.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
