Here again after 9 years and struggling 3

[Irish M]

Hi Inpain

you are still thinking about what he thinks. If he loves you etc.

What are you doing to keep yourself busy. Even if its just to paint the bedroom a new color. You have to change your thoughts about your H.

Eventually you will stop talking about this to your surrounding family and friends. Do not talk to his family about him... that's a big no no.. In my case my mom is the only one that truly understands that my W is not well. My friends all say get over her and move on. They even ask me " If she comes back can you really live with the idea that she could do this again."

I got to the point I know who supports me and who doesn't judge me.. they let me say what i need to say because holding it all in is no good.

That's what this forum is for. So you can vent here. Talk to others that are living it. Get tips on bettering yourself and hopefully have a better future relationship with your H, if that is what happens... and I hope.

As for texting him... don't. Most times they won't answer anyway or it will push them further away. If you want to write him something, write it on a paper then throw it away.

Have you done any of the homework they sent you when you first joined here and posted? When you start your new thread you should put it in Mid Life Crisis section. You will get more attention to your thread and more support.

Trust me i was exactly how you are now.. I thought of it day and night. I still do but i see it differently and I have disconnected.

many are here for you... keep writing your thoughts and questions... you are not alone.

Irish