Thanks Rain. Too tired to read it right now, but I will later today after I get up. I sure hope you're doing okay.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
MB, when I saw W on Friday and she looked so happy, I thought it must be easy for her. I thought she wasn't even missing me at all. She was with all her friends, laughing and chatting. And she had never asked about the dogs, so I thought for sure she was enjoying a quiet house with no dog hair everywhere. I thought she must be remembering only the negative things about me and our life together.
I was wrong.
When she came to my office yesterday, she told me how much she misses me and the dogs and how lonely the house feels and how there is no energy in the place and how now she realizes all I did to make her life easier. It didn't change anything. We are still apart and there was no talk of a reconciliation.
The point is, mind reading gets us into trouble. Remember, absence does make the heart grow fonder. OW is trash. She's weak. She took him right back and she's only the adulterous A. She WON'T last. She won't. So keep GALing. And even if you don't really have anything to do, then read a book and think about what you need to be the woman he'd be a fool to leave behind.
I don't know how long you do NC, but do it for a bit longer.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Im following your thread its similiar to with the returning and talking about us to nothing again Before that there was a lot of stuff she blamed me for and that i needed to work on. I took a lot of it to heart and was bending over backwards to get everything right. I got blamed for the money issues sold the house and then after she told me she had 50k in credit card debt that i knew nothing about. No wonder we argued about money and i can now see that wasnt my issue it had nothing to do with me.
I agree with you about stopping the focus on marriage with the counsellor and working on yourself. My counsellor sets goals and gives me feedback afterwards about what she sees or improvements in my behaviour and learning. Its hard to deal with the fact that i contributed to this. I always wanted to make our relationship better and have a lasting marriage.i spent over a year working on improving us and asked her to come with me. She always refused saying it was my behaviour causing all the issues. I can see my arguing and failure to communicate my hurt or feelings was a problem.i also failed to set boundaries of acceptable behaviour and can see how i contributed by not standing my ground or apologising to keep the peace. The counsellor has also focussed on what she believes is emotional abuse and bullying and that i was walking on eggshells for a long time. Im struggling to deal with this because her feedback was that i seem to be kind and caring and i have the ability to forgive and let go. Its quite confronting and i was crying as she read the emails and txts. I can see now im damaged by this, im struggling to deal with the loving kind girl she was to the mean and hurtful person she can be.
Wow thats off my chest thanks for the reply and support
As the say keep moving on! Maybe i can contribute more later or give support when needed
Cant wait to get started on dancing they have a weekly lesson then a monthly dance I'm hoping to get out and make new friends and improve my socialising.they tell me girls outnumber blokes!
Sorry for hijacking It's amazing that I posted that then I read Michelle's tweet today about controlling spouses and failure to take a strong stand! The world must be telling me something!
I'll post on my thread it would be great for your thoughts and support Have a great day!
Me: 45 w:45
M:6yrs T:9 Separated aug 15 no contact dec 15 come back july 16 I filed for closure aug 16
Hi Rain. Sorry, haven't been on here much. Had IC meeting today and just haven't felt much like talking I guess. Also not sleeping much so I just feel like a zombie sitting here trying to type. Can't seem to fall asleep though. I hope you're having a good night. I posted on your thread just a little bit ago. Talk to you tomorrow.....
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
I'm sorry MB. Not being able to sleep isn't good for you but I can relate. I was taking benadryl for a bit there. I hope you feel better. And I saw your post on mine. I replied. And thanks.
Also, I can not WAIT For Saturday night with you girls.
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
Oh good, I'm glad we're still on for Saturday. Benadryl works for me, too. Let's just get through this week.
MB just for today, don't do a drive by. I'm drinking a kale and OJ smoothie for breakfast. If I can do that you can skip the drive by.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Oh good, I'm glad we're still on for Saturday. Benadryl works for me, too. Let's just get through this week.
MB just for today, don't do a drive by. I'm drinking a kale and OJ smoothie for breakfast. If I can do that you can skip the drive by.
Of course we are! Saturday is the closest thing to GALing I've had since this started (that is not child related lol). I just posted on yours NYG. And I love kale. But only in soups or salads, so your smoothie is safe from me.
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
