Husband has left me for a younger woman

[sandi2]

Is there any way you can get someone out of the affair fog???? I feel like he is so blinded by this stupid affair it's killing me and they've only been together for 4 months in total 😩

Nothing is guaranteed, however, the more the LBW acts clingy, needy, critical, and especially demanding.....the more she is chasing the WH away to be with his AP. Women tend to guilt trip men. She gets angry b/c he isn't being the man/husband/father he needs to be, so she'll either b'tch at him, nag him to death, or blast him out. Well, it sure won't cause him to feel attracted to her. As women, I think that may be the hardest issue for us.....complaining about what the H is "not" doing right. Or....we disguise the real issue we are having by using something else to complain about. More men have said that their WW or WAW never told them how unhappy she really was. Can you imagine? We know we talk to these men! However, we tend to talk a different language or in codes.....and expect them to interpret what we truly mean.

We also tend to be more manipulative (IMO). We are not beneath using our feminine wiles to accomplish what we want.

Don't tell the LBH's I said this, but I think it is easier for the LBW to draw back the WH. Like Trumpet said, women are more complex, plus when the W is done with the MR, it is usually after a long time of other things building in her. I maintain that more husbands could draw their WW's back quicker if they would do what is necessary. The problem is that most LBH's, that I have seen, are the nice-guy types.....which does not work with a WW. These guys are very reluctant to change b/c of the fear they have that the WW will D them.

Okay, so with all that said, you need to know you "can" draw/influence your H back into the MR.......however, it will take time and lots of work. In DBing, we spell work as "c.h.a.n.g.e.s."

Have you read all the links that Cadet sent you? Be sure to do it.
Next step is to let go of your WH. If he is not financially supporting his child or his obligations, then get the legal help to pursue it. The other things, let it go. Will it be difficult? Sure! Thing is....no amount of pressure you apply is going to make him want to leave this young thing and go home and be the responsible H and father he should be. The only way to encourage him back to the home fires is to be the attractive woman you can become. Hey, there's nothing we can do about our age, but most things we work to make the most of what we have.

While you are leaving your WH alone, do some deep soul searching. Maybe even make a private list of the various ways you have shown disrespect for him as a man. How about as the leader, protector, and protector of the family? Maybe you have just cause for any lack of respect you have, if so, what is it? Do you make him the butt of jokes, put him down in front of the kids, relatives, friends, etc.? Do you argue or say things to him, disrespectfully, in front of your child or anyone else? Do you show him admiration? (That's the tough one for me). How was the sex life, before he left?

Maybe he's just awful and has abused you. How did he treat you before he started this A? Have their been any type of A's in the past for either of you? Sorry, if you've said and I can't remember.
Do either of you have problems with honesty or jealousy (before he cheated, of course).

Lots to think about, and may not feel too good, but will help if you can be painfully honest with us. Don't discuss any of this with him right now.