Here again after 9 years and struggling 3

[Irish M]

Hi Inpain

I understand your search for success stories. I did it as well and was so saddened by all the tragic ending and no reconciliations.

I now believe there are many successes. There are so many poster here that are current situations. All like you and me searching for answers. I'll say it again because i really want you to think about it. The answers are in yourself. This forum is about you. Not your H. Or finding that secret recipe to snap him out of it and get him home.

The success stories are probably not even being told. If your H came back and you worked on your R. You wouldn't come here. Many disappear so we never get updates. There are a handful that do come back to share their story. These are amazing souls. Sad thing is humanity is selfish. We all want but many don't give back.

Also so many sitch end in no R. Not because the MLC doesn't come back... it's because us the LBS move on. Find a new love and don't look back.

I know of 3 stories local to people i know.

-1 My bosses best friend. His W left. gone 3 years. he had full custody of his young kids. He waited... She crashed, nearly overdosed and ended up in the hospital. She called out to him for help. they have been back together for the last 2 years . going strong in their NEW relationship together. recently remarried.

-2 My hairdressers SIL - same thing left her brother we will call Mike. 2 years. Mike has the kids. Mike waited a year but eventually met someone. She went nuts when she saw mike moving on. ..Wanted him back. Saying things like how could you do this to me. During the time she was gone she had 5 OM's.. Mike got married last year to his new girlfriend. His ex showed up the day before the wedding and scratch his face so deep it left a scar. Mike did not want the MLC back it was his choice.. too much damage.

3- My brothers neighbor. H left his W for an employee of his. One day happy family the next day moving van. 8 months he was gone.. He was living his dream life of freedom, cashed in his retirement and nearly lost his business. He crashed and he came running back. He had to be hospitalized because his chemical imbalance was affecting his judgement. He was treated and gets bi-yearly follow ups. They are still together. Working on it but He knows he was not himself and regrets it all. He is a changed man. works less hours, even dresses more relaxed.. My brother says it was good for him because the other guy was a jerk.

I've spoken to all of these LBS and none of them even ventured on a site like this. They dealt with it alone. So imagine how many out there don't even come on this forum. And the many that just read the posts without sharing their stories.

I'm sure there are a lot more successes out there. People just don't share.

Don't give up hope if that's what you want. Don't dwell on it either. Let him go.

If and when he comes back. It's up to you if you take him back.

Irish