Drop the stuff on the dress code. Your W can dress as she pleases for herself. As deal breakers go this isn't one.

In my view space for each of you to respect the others choices in some areas.

My WH once said "you are old fat and frumpy. You need to be more attractive to me"

My response to myself "you are old, grumpy, smelly and bald......

Don't create a list of demands or keep a score card. I am not sure it will help.

V

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW