Yes I totally agree that he needs to work on himself and I already have it in my mind that if / when this affair ends and he hopefully sees sense I'll be seeing him away to get help on himself before I'll Even talk to him- he just runs away from Me every time time the going gets tough!
Also totally agree that friends and family will not understand me wanting to reconcile at some point, they are all telling me to move on and forget about him, so I'm just getting on with my life as they urge me too but I do have the candle lit for our marriage and I've told them that no matter what they say that is the situation. They do all say that they will all support my decision whatever the outcome, they just all hate him for what he is doing! In all honesty he'll have a mountain to climb to win back the trust of mine and his families and our mutual friends never mind me. His family aren't even talking to him..
Me 35 H 38 Married 4 years together 13 years Affair started sept 2015 BD 15th Nov 2015- husband left that night son age 3 daughter age 1