inpain, don't try and figure out what H is thinking. You have no idea. He may be missing you but trying really hard not to contact you. That's what my W is doing, I believe. I saw her last Friday and she looked so happy. (So did I, if anyone had bothered to look. Inside I was a mess.) Then a few days later she told me how unhappy she is, and that she made so many mistakes. Which is all well and good, but it doesn't mean we're back together. We're not.
It's OK to cry, it really is, especially now that you're home. The tears are cleansing. If you can't stop, then try deep breathing and try to clear your mind. Or go to a place where no one can hear you (car perhaps?) and shout. For me it's every nasty word I can to describe the OW. Whatever works for you. It feels good. But in the meantime, just keep crying. It's OK.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
