Husband has left me for a younger woman

[Bex]

Yes I know what your saying about online dating! I won't be meeting up with anyone.. I'm totally not in the right place to be doing that, I'm in love with my husband and want him back, I don't want anyone else

[Bex]

What are the chances of this affair actually lasting with the age gap and all that? How long do they usually last after exposure?

[trumpet]

Bex,

I've read that most affairs, 90%, don't last. I would imagine with an age gap, and possible MLC, that would be closer to 100%.
But remember - there are lies, d*$n lies, and then statistics.

[Bex]

Hi trumpet

Yeah I thought the statistics were something like that, I know in my heart that this won't last- it's just ridiculous but I guess it's just how long it will go on for and how much I can't take! Even if it doesn't last it might be a few years which to be honest would be far too late for me, I've given myself 1 year until I start filing for divorce ..

[sandi2]

I mean realistically what are the chances that this affair will last?

I would say zero to none. However, he doesn't want to work on the M. That's the thing! It's so much easier to start fresh......and with a fresher gal. I don't know anything could hurt a hurt worse than a spouse dumping his W for a younger version. Unless, it would be for her to get a younger man (ha). However, I don't advise that you get into any type of revenge tactics.

Stick with the board, b/c you'll get great support here. There are many others on the board who know exactly how you feel.

[Bex]

I've definitely been thinking whether it's a mid life crisis- in the months leading up to this we moved back to the uk, we had a new baby , I was diagnosed Roth an inherited heart condition and he took a Massive demotion job wise and to be honest it was rough for all
Of us! I feel like he has just suddenly freaked out and ran away from his life and responsibilities..
He had a very very difficult childhood, dad had an affair and left when he was a baby (!) mum died when he was 5 and he was put into care, I feel like my health issues have been a sub conscious thing that makes him want to jolt as what he went though with his mum, 7 years ago my mum was diagnosed with cancer and a couple of weeks later he bolted (no affair) but just ran away from me for a year! Came back saying he'd made the biggest mistake of his life.. It's all very coincidental and is like a pattern of behaviour

[Bex]

I mean realistically what are the chances that this affair will last?

I would say zero to none. However, he doesn't want to work on the M. That's the thing! It's so much easier to start fresh......and with a fresher gal. I don't know anything could hurt a hurt worse than a spouse dumping his W for a younger version. Unless, it would be for her to get a younger man (ha). However, I don't advise that you get into any type of revenge tactics.

Stick with the board, b/c you'll get great support here. There are many others on the board who know exactly how you feel.

That's good that you think zero to none and everybody that knows him / us feels the same! They all think it's total madness- absolutely nobody could see that we were "unhappy" (including me!) it just feels like he's suddenly lost all sight of reality!
But unfortunately you're also right that he doesn't want to work on the marriage, I really hope that this will change once reality kicks in of what he's done

[NYGal]

Hi Bex, I'm in a similar situation of wondering when my W's affair will end. NO ONE believes it will last. There are so many factors working against it. But we just have to be patient. Easier said than done, I know. Believe me, I know.
When the A ends, or even sooner, your H has to work on HIM. Then he can work on the M. He has to figure out why he makes the mistake of leaving you. Twice now? That's insane. The affair fog is a powerful soup. Hopefully a strong wind will blow it away soon. Just keep posting and try your best to GAL. It's all we can do, really.
All the best to you.

[- MB -]

I hope so too Bex! It is very frustrating to have to deal with this. Just keep posting here and you will get lots of support and advice. Read other people's stories, they will help. And, don't be surprised when your family and friends don't understand why you're sticking it out and waiting for him. They will not understand. No one seems to understand unless they have been through it.

I hope you're having a great day today! Go out and do something fun.

[Bex]

Hi

Yes I totally agree that he needs to work on himself and I already have it in my mind that if / when this affair ends and he hopefully sees sense I'll be seeing him away to get help on himself before I'll Even talk to him- he just runs away from
Me every time time the going gets tough!

Also totally agree that friends and family will not understand me wanting to reconcile at some point, they are all telling me to move on and forget about him, so I'm just getting on with my life as they urge me too but I do have the candle lit for our marriage and I've told them that no matter what they say that is the situation. They do all say that they will all support my decision whatever the outcome, they just all hate him for what he is doing! In all honesty he'll have a mountain to climb to win back the trust of mine and his families and our mutual friends never mind me. His family aren't even talking to him..